The main trait which makes you successful in business may be hurting your kids.

How is this possible you might be wondering? Or maybe what is this trait?

First, let’s take a step back and define what an entrepreneur is. These days it’s such a common word and everyone calls themselves an entrepreneur. I sold golf balls as a kid behind my house. Did that make me an entrepreneur? Probably — but still to this day I don’t like the term.

The definition I used now is someone who solves a problem. Entrepreneurs solve problems — plain and simple. Entrepreneurs create businesses which solve problems.

I recently spent time with an author who got called out on his ability to solve problems. A prominent businesswoman asked him how to write a book and he proceeded to give her a long drawn out answer about working hard. She then asked why he was at this dinner if he wasn’t an entrepreneur, as that was the focus of the dinner.

To his credit, he went and became obsessed with this problem and has since created a very lucrative and successful business around it. You might recognize this story and company — his name is Tucker Max, and he’s one of the most successful authors of our generation and the founder of Book in a Box. (If you’re interested in publishing a book and don’t have the time to spend a thousand hours slaving away at the computer please ask me for an introduction.)

Tucker realized what the problem was, and he created a company to solve it.

You might be wondering how this relates to your children. Let’s remain in your business a little longer, and then you’ll understand the connection.

All day in your company you are solving problems —some large, some small and some so menial you don’t even realize you’re solving a problem.

You are wired to solve problems.

Let’s say you spend six hours at the office (isn’t that the point of being your own boss to work less than eight hours a day?) working on solving your businesses problems and then you go home.

 

You have solved problems all day so what do you do at home? Solve more problems, of course, says the entrepreneur.

 

You do Johnny’s homework and you take him to practice all while cooking dinner and demanding of Rachel to cut the carrots a certain way. Oh yeah and you feed Nanci (the dog) because she’s hungry and the kids give her too much kibble.

You manage to get the meal down the throats of your kids before you’re barking orders for them to shower and brush their teeth before bed. They go to bed. Night time stories and you’re free.

No problems to solve just some alone time with your spouse. Which of course you have to attempt to solve all their problems. Because entrepreneurs know best. They will solve everything if given the right tools and strategies.

Does this sound like you?

It’s okay if it does as we have spoken with hundreds of entrepreneurs and they all turn away for this part of the speech all around the world.

Entrepreneurs love solving problem — but if you consistently do this for your entire child’s life what happens when they move out and you’re not there to solve their problems?

This is why record amounts of young adults are still living at home. Anxiety among youths is at an all time high, and why 20 percent of kids ages 10-24 have considered suicide within the past year. Kids don’t know how to solve their own problems. Yes, life can be difficult and asking for help is a vital role in anyone’s success. Kids learn asking for help at a very young age by crying when they want something.

I’m hungry wahhh. I’m tired wahhhhh. I want attention wahhhhhh. And then they never get programmed out of this because parents have become so conditioned to solve their children’s problems at a young age —it is your job as a parent to let your kids fail.

They will thank you in the future for this. Don’t worry about your reputation as your kid got a B on one project because you didn’t do it for them. Let your kid get a zero or F on a homework assignment because he or she left it at home.

We must all learn lessons and resilience ourselves — things we will never pick up in a textbook, but from actually learn from our mistakes. Let your kids fail as it’s one of the best things hat can ever happen to them.

 

By Gordie Bufton